emmy blotnick

Last night at the variety show for Cole Stryker’s book Epic Win, my fellow Fallon bloggers (Cory Cavin & Josh Lay) and I performed a piece adapted from a popular 4chan post known as Fetus Room. Here is the original text:

“If I was a girl, I would get pregnant as many times as possible, then have abortions after the third month of being pregnant so I would deliver a potato sized 1/3 developed dead fetus, then I would take the fetus, put it in a jar of preservative liquid and put it on a shelf in a secret room in my house. And I would do it until I had so many the rooms walls were nothing but potato sized aborted fetuses. Then I would have a kid and when they’re bad I would make them sit in the fetus room and remind them of how easy I could have aborted their ass.”

I think we made it into something beautiful. Enjoy, my friends!