emmy blotnick


“A butt load.” The first time I heard this phrase used to signify “a lot” was in reference to neither smuggled narcotics nor colonoscopies; it was in that made-for-MTV movie about a fictional boy band called 2Gether. That was in 2000. I was eleven years old (!) I ain’t mad at anyone for continuing to use it ten years later, but I think we can do better. Every so often someone will say the same thing about the word “douchebag” but I’m not convinced that one’s replaceable, whereas “a butt load” most definitely is. I haven’t come up with the perfect replacement, only a baby step that came to me in the form of a typo. While wearing a Ring Pop, my finger slipped off the “D” key onto the “F” and produced….a butt loaf. A butt loaf. Or several: Butt loaves. Eh?

“A butt load.”

The first time I heard this phrase used to signify “a lot” was in reference to neither smuggled narcotics nor colonoscopies; it was in that made-for-MTV movie about a fictional boy band called 2Gether. That was in 2000. I was eleven years old (!)

I ain’t mad at anyone for continuing to use it ten years later, but I think we can do better. Every so often someone will say the same thing about the word “douchebag” but I’m not convinced that one’s replaceable, whereas “a butt load” most definitely is.

I haven’t come up with the perfect replacement, only a baby step that came to me in the form of a typo. While wearing a Ring Pop, my finger slipped off the “D” key onto the “F” and produced….a butt loaf.

A butt loaf. Or several: Butt loaves. Eh?

March 11, 2010
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