December 2009
67 posts
I hate 'I Love The New Millennium'
Molly: it's completely uninteresting and unnostalgic
Molly: all they had to do was wait til tomorrow to air it
Molly: it wouldn't be any better but at least it would sorta make sense
Emmy: yeah they made it in '08
Emmy: which is kind of like airing I Love The Marathon at mile 18
Molly: like right now theyre talking about Pirates of the Caribbean and it's like "oh hey, remember that?!"
Molly: yes, because they're releasing another one next year
Emmy: because you saw it in theaters last weekend, loni love
Emmy: thumbs down accompanied by farting noise
Sean Paul - “Get Busy”
Best song of...
“For the past year, the German town of Fohren was terrorized by a shoe thief…over...”
– Fox Steals 120 Shoes in Germany | NowPublic News Coverage (via robot-heart & sarzhaplus)
Fox, give back those shoes.
You don’t have four that match. You don’t even have people feet. You are a fox.
“It would be tough to surmise from looking at Ke$ha — 22 and rangy, with a...”
– New York Times (via faithandbegorrah)
…as complete and painless as the assimilation of my head to my desk.
Stevie Wonder - “What Christmas Means To...
“[Katy Perry] seems talented, relatively self-aware and has a bloggable set of...”
– Carles is keeping me company on Christmas eve.
"No homo"
I guess Wikipedia sums it up nicely:
The phrase “no homo” parenthetically asserts that the speaker is not a man who has sex with men, whether identified as gay or otherwise, after an utterance that may give that impression. Examples can be found in Lil’ Wayne’s song “Weezy’s Ambition”: “Got money out da ass/No homo.”
Then again,...
Watchthedailywhat:
New Music Video! Rihanna (feat. Young Jeezy) - “Hard” [via.]
At 3:36, she’s covered in dirt and red lipstick and sings, “Where them bloggers at, where them bloggers at?” Yeah! Because sometimes you just wanna wave a machine gun around and check Buzzfeed or something.
But to answer the question, they’re right here, and they’re eating a breakfast...
How old is your dad anyway, negative 5?
Little kid 1: (singing) All around the world statues crumble for me, who knows how long I've loved you--
Little kid 2: Stop singing daddy's music!
New Years Resolutions, part 1
No scrubs
No pigeons
Find other ways to express joy in public besides flossing a scarf between my legs
Animal Collective - “What Would I Want,...
Haiku
There is no emblem Of my winter sadder than Bacon-stained cashmere
Sad Brad Smith - "Help Yourself" →
So here’s a confession: I actually bought this song on iTunes like a helpless fart rippling into resourcelessness — thus, I can’t post it here, but that link will let you listen.
Anyway, this is the song played during the slow-motion wedding dancing sequence of Up in the Air. It was the first time in my life I’ve ever been on the verge of tears while also thinking,...
This Rihanna song “Te Amo” is bursting...
The blessing and the curse of growing up in the...
1999: My vocabulary expanded to include the word “premonition” just from listening to the song “Livin’ La Vida Loca” by Ricky Martin.
2009: Every time anyone uses the word “premonition,” my brain immediately turns into a black hole with a boom box that blasts the song “Livin’ La Vida Loca” by Ricky Martin.
A little boy called me a pretty lady!
Unfortunately it was in the context of his asking “What is that pretty lady doing?” while I was trying to pick a wedgie without using my hands.
Signs your heater isn't doing the job
You hug your laptop for warmth the same way flight attendants instruct you to hold your seat cushion in the event of a water landing
The newest addition to your bedding is the pilly fleece blanket your dog normally lies on in the back seat during long car trips (i.e. “the dog blanket”)
You dream of trading in your bed for a queen sized George Forman grill
I
Gruff lady: What's the difference between the regular hot chocolate and the Signature hot chocolate?
Starbucks barista: I autograph the Signature hot chocolate!
Gruff lady: With all due respect, I don't think that's very fucking funny.
Rolling Stone | 100 Best Songs of the Decade →
I feel pretty good about this list.
Watchpaulscheer:robhuebel:waderandolph:
50 Worst Videogame Voice Acting Lines. I’ve never played any of these games, but this is hilarious.
(thanks @jondaly)
This is the Internet’s greatest addendum to “All Your Base Are Belong To Us.” It’s like a ten year anniversary party and we’re all invited.
Too much Jersey Shore makes the baby go blind
Emmy: hey so i was thinking we could get all our friends to pitch in like $40
Emmy: and buy ourselves a tanning bed
Emmy: and keep it in your living room
Emmy: what do you think?
Billy: i mean i think that's a pretty awful idea
Billy: let's review the pros and cons
Emmy: pros: WE COULD BE SO BRONZE
Emmy: cons: we'd have to take turns
Billy: cons: cancer
Number of times I have had the poops scared out of...
I’m home alone writing a term paper when all of a sudden, my electric toothbrush randomly turns itself on, somehow dives out of its charger base and starts having a seizure on the floor. (I should mention that my toothbrush is unusually loud. I ordered it on Amazon after being peer pressured by a team of old man dentists bullies and nobody warned me about this. Little did I know, it is a...
I am my mother
Mike: have you listened to the new Animal Collective EP?
Emmy: it's a little pots-and-pans-y for me
Mike: I don't know what you mean by that
Emmy: it sounds like pots and pans
Reasons I am a bad Jew:
faithandbegorrah:
zombienumbersix:
I haven’t been to shul in weeks
I eat cheeseburgers (but if it was good enough for Avraham, it’s good enough for me)
I ate catfish by mistake the other day at the sushi bar (it was delicious)
I’m not filled with loving-kindness, especially these days
LOL I AM NEVER GETTING INTO THE CANTORATE
I haven’t been to shul in years.
I eat bacon cheeseburgers.
...
Ron Browz - “Pop Champagne”
1....